Tumblr Prompts, AU Ficlets and NotFic Snippets
by nogreateragony78
Summary: A collection of my short tumblr writings, not!fics and other accepted prompts from tumblr. A few serious bits and pieces but mostly stuff done for fun and thus lots of crackiness!
1. Pick A Path

Pick A Path: A Star Wars Rebels Alternate Universe At The End of Season 4

AKA: That time Ezra Bridger (accidentally!) lived up to his name and maybe kinda moved (and helped restore) an entire kriffing planet right in the middle of an Imperial attack…

Ezra sighs, deeply and softly, not even bothering to look up from his plate of food at the group of people who are currently clustered around him, hovering near as if they're all afraid that if they blink he's going to end up falling right back to sleep in his karking food or something.

"Seriously, I'm fine guys - stop stalking me already! I just, you know, needed a little nap apparently, after everything that happened."

Sabine gapes at that. Hera scowls. Zeb snorts and Kanan sighs very deeply before reaching up to rub his forehead. "You slept for *three months* Ezra, after unexpectedly moving an entire karking planet!"

Ezra shrugs his shoulders again, reaching out for his cup of blue milk, "Hey don't look at me, Kanan, I was just as the loth-wolves put it 'picking a path.' I didn't know it'd come like this in the end- just that I had to pick or we *all* died instead of maybe only me." He shrugs. "But well in terms of planetary transport, yes apparently 'I do that…'. On Lothal. Very, very occasionally."

Kanan sighs very deeply again and reminds himself again that no he may not in reality strangle this damn kid…


	2. Ezra Vs The Jedi Temple Notfic (1)

A short summation of My Ezra Bridger vs The Jedi Temple NotFic from tumblr…Which may someday may turn into an actual fic sometime far from now…  
Tags include:  
#JediTempleNever Fell #EzraBridgervstheWorld #YodaYouAreATroll #KananJarrus:TheVeryReluctantDaddening #AlternateFirstMeetings #YetEverythingsTheSame #Atleasteverythingthatmatters

****  
So, I desperately need an SWR AU where the Jedi Order either aren't wiped out at all or are merely decreased in their numbers thanks to Order 66 not going off as successfully as hoped for. And then fourteen -year-old pick-pocket Ezra Brider ends up in the Jedi temple with the poor soul who just happened to stumble across him on Lothol while they were there to investigate rumors of a newly discovered ancient Jedi temple. (Ezra may or may not have picked said knight's pocket. Twice. Neither he or his abductor are saying.)

And the poor kid, who basically got strong-armed off of Lothal 'for his own good' by whoever happened to find him, gets stuck standing there in the council chamber while the council debates what exactly they should do with him considering his strength is the Force, which Ezra honestly finds a little bit perplexing. Because really, he doesn't remember *asking for anyone's kriffing opinions.* And while he's on the subject, "This kind of sucks, you guys, if this is your idea of an effective recruitment. I want to go home now. Unless in fact this is, you know, an *actual* kidnapping."

And Kanan Jarrus/Caleb Dume, who was looking for his Master to go to lunch before the meeting began, and is currently leaning against the back walls observing the situation quietly, ends up literally choking on his caff at that moment. As does Anakin Skywalker. The later man laughs and gets scolded for it.

All the while the council would kind of sit there dazedly, spluttering through various individual reactions. From shock to amusement to some actual serious concern about Ezra's apparent disinterest, because really they're looking at a homeless, skinny as kriff street rat with no better prospects, and his complete lack of interest in the Jedi order is more than a little bit unbelievable/affronting.

Ezra meanwhile is just irritated, and starts plotting to begin his escape. Because seriously, it's been a long kriffing day, whatever they gave him to knock him out to get him here on the ship has left him with a serious headache, and frankly he's more than a little bit starving.

Right up until the point that, Yoda, the evil little troll that he is, let's drops a bomb like "Let wander off, we should not, the greatest-potential creche-master we shall see in his or four more generations." And in the back of the room Kanan Jarrus chokes on his caff yet again, getting it all over his brand new formal robes in the process.  
Then, well, Yoda just sits back, and watches the rest of the council descend into fits, while Ezra just stands there and raises an extremely unimpressed eyebrow at every single one of them. Because why the Kark not, Yoda figures this particular meeting was definitely getting boring anyway.

Some additional background information for the curious: Kanan in this verse was not part of the original Lothal mission when they found Ezra, he was back at the temple, physically recovering from an assignment that ended rather spectacularly badly. He and his master both got separated initially during the chaos of Order 66 (A couple of the clones from their unit had had their chips removed and distracted the others until the threat could be neutralized. Depa was shot but survived her injuries with some help, but only Caleb followed her orders and ran.) After that the two of them got stuck separated for over a year, before they were able to reunite with the help of Janus Kasmir, and make it back to the temple. Kasmir it is notable to record, was reward very generously for his service by the council and now operates as part of the Jedi's information gathering service in his section of space, which allows him to occasionally see his 'ungrateful punk ass of a kid.')

Since then Kanan has come to be known as Kanan commonly, though a few of his old childhood friends also still call him Caleb, after he took the name he used while in hiding and after finding his master again, later used it to form an ID that he uses for undercover and recognizance work out on the outer rim. He has a distinct reputation among his own people as a rather unorthodox sort of guys, as well as frankly sort of a cowboy, but the Jedi's numbers are so much less now that all but the non council members tend to be far more relaxed and nonjudgemental about that sort of thing. Kanan has been trying to make contact with the scattered rebellion cells for quite awhile now, largely at the council's own request, as there are hopes of forming an eventual alliance to stand against the Empire dominated planets.

And his beloved Master Depa Billaba? Is pretty much totally side-eyeing Kanan from the very beginning of this whole tale, because number one she knows forced damned well that her now grown Padawan can match if not outmatch this tiny street rat in terms of snark, and number two? She knows Kanan's hiding how amused he is by the holy terror, well right up until the point that the kid actually goes missing.

Later, once things start to get hairy, and Kanan, for reasons discussed below, ironically ends up getting drafted into helping keep a leash on the kid while they try and find an Experienced Jedi Master that he might actually bond with, Kanan starts to get slowly surlier and surlier, forcing Depa to tell him outright, in a tone as smooth as cream further down the road, that she hadn't realized he could be both so intelligent and severely dense at the same kriffing time.

But then again to be fair, Depa has to admit, that this is the man that she basically gave up all hope of ever getting grand-padawans out of. Ever since Kanan told her, quite honestly over five years ago. "Look, I'm horrible with kids. I'm too sarcastic to not rub off on them temperament wise and my job keeps me constantly moving, as you're well aware, in some pretty dangerous places. Taking on a kid isn't my path, Master, The Force has made that infinitely clear to me by now."

Only the Force, it appears seems to have completely missed the memo on that subject.

All that in play, Hera Syndulla, pilot extraordinaire, with Zeb and Sabine both in tow, has been in contact with the Lotholian rebellion for quite a while now. And the three of them met Ezra after the street rat stopped someone from trying to sell Hera a faulty converter a year or two ago, right before waving and running off with Zeb – who'd been with her at the time's kriffing wallet. (Hera had been amused enough so that she'd just handed Zeb the same amount back as the kids' misbegotten cash right back and told him to let it go.) She knows who Ezra's parents were/are after asking a couple of questions of other sellers at the market, and has basically been trying to lure the kid onto her ship ever since, much to Zeb's continuing protest. So when she hears upon one of her returns to the planet that Ezra was forcibly taken off world by a group of visiting Jedi, she immediately takes the Ghost and goes to the temple just to make sure he's okay.

Well as well as to growl at the people who just filched the teenager she's spent literal years now slowly systematically recruiting out from under her.

Ezra meanwhile, once he's done with that first meeting with the council, is then sent to medlab, and then the creche, where he then proceeds to be, well rather Ezraish… "What do you mean he's gone? Aren't you supposed to be a professional caregiver of children?! Who canstop these sorts of things from happening."  
The Creche Leader sighs, "Councilor with all respect most of our charges are here from toddlerhood. They're never taught to pick locks or escape into the vents."

The Council when they're notified has no clue at all how to respond. Two days later, when Hera finally shows up they are still looking for Ezra and the Twi'lek pilot is distinctly less than impressed.  
Ezra meanwhile just desperately wants to get out of this maze of a building…except everytime he tries he either ends up in the Great Library, the Kitchens, or the Gardens. (And seriously he wonders, what the Kriff!)  
And in the meantime, Hera calms down (eventually) after a little charming from the conveniently there Kanan, and tells the council – with Kanan in tow, a great deal more about the kid that they're all hunting.

The Bridger's the council learns, are still missing in this verse as well, having been arrested by the ISF on their Imperial Dominated Planet because of their undercover broadcasts. Kanan in frankly shock to realize this kid is THAT kid, who the Jedi scouts back in his section had looked for a over week or so a couple years ago, when the intelligence scouts in the area had eventually checked to find out why the Voices of Freedom radio program had suddenly mysterious stopped transmitting. The Jedi assigned had eventually shrugged off the matter and walked away, deciding they had better ways to use the resources.

Ezra meanwhile, has still been alone since age seven. Once this particular fact is discovered, there is a distinct push to try and reinvestigate the elder Bridger's current status by the Jedi Council, not that Ezra is particularly phased by that trend when he's told about it. As the teenager informs them when he's told, "I already know what happened to them, okay? They're dead!" And people actually start to wonder if there's some kind of subconscious knowledge there or not. If there's something the kid remembers but doesn't remember remembering.  
Ezra meanwhile, is purely thrilled to see Hera and Zeb and Sabine when they show up, though he's also starting to think that maybe this Jarrus guy is not too bad either, after Master Yoda ("Accidental it was, and most Provident!) arranges for Kanan to be the one who both finds and eventually lures Ezra out of the temple vents. As Ezra later puts it to Kanan, "You're a lot less kriffing annoying than all the others. So thanks. But its still time for me to go home again frankly speaking, Jarrus."

Because he is going, the easy way or the hard way apparently. Never mind that the kid is so underfed and skinny that all of them are literally shocked to realize the kid is actually several years older than they first assumed. And Kanan as well as Hera – who is actually starting to realize after a few chats with Kanan that Ezra might actually benefit from some basic force instruction, especially when the kid lives in contested space, totally don't have a ridiculous amount of sexual between them. Though They're totally and truthfully Obi Wan and Satine before they married all over again, only this time Depa is the one making all the snarky comments and awkward faces around them. Not Anakin.

And it takes awhile, for the council to finally accept actual reality, but Ezra is just plain being stubborn, about the 'I want to go home' thing – and he has gained approximately -5 percent of respect for their overall level of supposed awesomeness at this point in his trip. Until the point that the adults in his lives realize to their collective horrors that the only way they'll have any peace with this kid in their lives at all is if the try and strike a bargain.  
If Ezra's fate is his own, then fine – he clearly needs information to make a good choice, so why doesn't he agree to stop trying to pop smoke, at least for the time being and give the Jedi and Hera both a straight up blank slate to try and outright recruit him. With him of course picking where he goes in the end.

The plan is simple really, he'll spend a month at the temple and the Ghost and her crew will hang around too, while the Jedi give him a crash course on Jedi philosophy, history and basic shielding practices to make it harder for the inquisitors in contested space to find him, while Hera explains what other kind of life he'd have if he goes with her and joins the rebellion. The council of course, truly naively believe they can easily match Ezra with a suitable master that he'll actually bond with, but seem summarily awful at picking candidates. (Yoda it may be noted, seems to making most of the suggestions.) Hera meanwhile has her distinct doubts – she's been working on the kid two years now and finally just has her first sign of having made a real in, but either way Ezra clearly benefits from the free feed up and shielding instruction. Though no one actually tells Ezra, they're all also actively still continuing his search for his parents. No matter what option Ezra actually chooses, Hera figures, he'll most certainly win.

But Ezra being Ezra? Refuses this deal outright when he hears it, because he's a stubborn little banthkriff. Instead he returns that he'll only take the deal if there's three choices, no more no less available to him.

1\. He stays at the temple with a master  
2\. He joins Hera on the Ghost or  
3\. They take him kriffing home again, because after all it is Ezra's life, his choice and his karking home planet

And no, nobody karking likes it, but honestly – the kid's fourteen, only four years away from his majority – how far are they willing to go to try and keep him anywhere unwillingly? Not to mention the council assumes, as stated before that a month of time should be plenty. After all, it's not like they are in the slightest bit historically arrogant. So, the council agrees, and Ezra Bridger GRINS….

(Kanan Jarrus it should be noted here, writes his fourth ever and most vicious protest to a council decision in history. And may or may not threaten in private to staple it to every single yes voter's forehead. But then right now to be fair he's the one who spent the most actual time getting to know this stubborn ass kid.)


	3. Familial Inheritance (1) Reunions

Chapter 6: Familial Inheritance Snippet 1 (Reunions)

Summary:

In which a previously dead Kanan Jarrus tracks down his absent Padawan several years after the battle of Yavin and finds more than just a few surprises...

NOW WITH TEXT

Chapter Text

Audio fic is here: . 3?dl=0

*************  
Familial Inheritance: Snippet One (Reunions)

Otherwise known as : That time Kanan Jarrus unexplicably, unexpectedly came back from the dead, and when he tracked down his now twenty five year old Padawan, he found more then a few surprises waiting

A/N: Warning: This fic may in some ways be considered a major character deathfic, but only in the sense that in this particular narrative operate in a time and place where Captain Hera Syndulla fell honorably in battle against the Empire at least four years previously. Kanan and Ezra have been and are unsurprisingly affected by her loss, but both are all focused for the most part on honoring her memory by moving on as best they can for the sake of the living.

Kanan really doesn't know what to expect when he walks up and raps on the front door of the ancient old Comm station - which is faded grey and worn, though at least in decent repair by the looks of it. He knocks on the door and waits patiently for an answer within.

The others had warned him, when they landed on the ship on the planet, that Ezra wasn't the same as he'd been before the last battle of Lothal. That his former Padawan had a new bearing - new quirks and new habits. That he may not greet Kanan particularly warmly even under the circumstances. They told Kanan he was reticent now, that he had become distinctly isolationist

They distinctly hadn't mentioned that he has a kid.

And yeah, Kanan has to admit that his spectrum for the odd has expanded considerably I the past seven weeks. After all, by all measure's that he's currently aware of, for the last seven years he's been, in reality, dead. And now he's back with very little explanation as to how or why that he's been able to determine. Which should have left him, Kanan figures, fairly unruffled now in the face of something as simple as this. But he's still utterly unprepared for what he actually gets when the door finally opens.

The girl in question is probably somewhere between ages twelve and fifteen, with long dark brown hair pulled back in a sloppy ponytail. She's got a datapad in one of her hands, and her eyebrow raises very quizically and skeptically as she looks up him up and down for a moment.

"May I help you mister?"

"I'm looking for Ezra Bridger," He replies back after a moment. Because the others hadn't mentioned that Ezra has a cover identity of any kind.

The teen looks at him a moment longer. Then calls back over her shoulder, "Dad - we have company! Are you still in the kitchen?" Even as her mind stretches out toward Kanan's own, brushing against his shielding gently not pushing – just instinctively curious. And Kanan realizes that this child is Force Sensetive.

The girl is - well not petite exactly, but not overly tall either, somewhere neatly in the middle. Her small nose is wrinkled as she steps back from the doorway to let him in.

Kanan follows her into the main room and let's the girl close the door behind him, wondering at the total silence in the room- Ezra made no attempt at verbal reply or confirmation he's been heard. Hasn't called back to try and learn more. There's no sound at all in fact but the sound of a breaking dish as Ezra finally appears from the kitchen. Kanan's Padawan stop dead once he clears the frame, his cup of caf falling numbly from him hands.

Kanan's lips quirk up a little wryly. "Uhmm...hello. How's it been Kid? What's up?"

And that's when Rex joins Ezra from out of the kitchen, his jaw dropping open in astonishment. "K...Kanan?" He looks to Ezra who nods his head a little when Rex taps the side of his head, "How…when…Seriously! What the KARK?!"

Kanan's lips tilt up a little wry and awkward. "Yes. It's definitely me. Rather not dead at the moment. Though that's quite a story. I'm sorry I would have had one of the others call you to warn you that I'd be coming but well - Ezra on file comm number's apparently not working any longer."

The teenager blinks, "W…wait a minute...did you just call him KANAN?" She asks Rex, "As in…Dad's old Master who's been dead almost a decade?!"

Ezra for his own part still remains silent and still. Which frankly speaking is starting worry Kanan a bit…"Ezra," He repeats the kids name yet again, softly, eyes locked on him. Which finally seems to prompt the younger man to action as his feet apparently unstick from their spots on the floor. His Padawan slowly moves toward him. His movements slow, his face intense, his eyes still locked on Kanan, his forehead wrinkled in clear confusion. Until finally the younger man stops literally a foot or so in front of him, and pauses hand outstretched, as if unsure what to do next.

Kanan reaches out a finger and unceremoniously pokes him in the sternum, a little cautiously as last time around the same type of move on his part had finally broken the emotional dam for Sabine. Ezra merely blinks silently again. Kanan chuckles, "See, alive, and corporeal and everything."

Seconds later the kid is stepping even closer to Kanan, his arms wrapping tightly around him in a massive bear hug, which Kanan returns easily enough though his next words are a little bit humorously chiding, "What I don't even get a hello first, Kid?"

"He doesn't speak anymore, Kanan." Rex informs the Older Jedi from across the room. Hasn't since before he found DJ at the very minimum, which was over eighteen months ago now. I have no idea how long he was silent before that - before I found him and DJ here on the base and decided to torture them as my chosen form of retirement."

Ezra responds to that statement by rolling his eyes heavenward, and giving a disgruntled little grunt in the former Clone Trooper's direction.

"So then you're...like, Dad's former and now aparently Zombie Master just showing up out of the blue then?" The now named DJ inquires. "Well I suppose that I only have one truly important question…."

Kanan raises an eyebrow again at that, and puts a hand on his hips, "That question being?"

The girls shrugs, "What do you want Rex and I to put on your sandwich?"

Kanan blinks and then smiles at her awkward grin almost automatically.

Because yeah, she's clearly terrifying but Kanan can already tell that he's going to enjoy the hell outta this particular kid.


	4. Familial Inheritance (2) Little Secrets

Chapter 7: Familial Inheritance Snippet 2 (Little Secrets)

Summary:

Kanan and Ezra discuss DJ's father...

(NOW WITH TEXT)

Familial Inheritance

Snippet Two: Little Secrets

Also known as the one where Ezra and Kanan have a little talk about DJ's Father

Kanan's so used by this point to Ezra responding to his question either on the whiteboard or via their reforged link that he literally starts at the sound of Ezra's, very quiet, very, disused voice.

"DJ is ...oh kark. Just say it. She's your daughter, Kanan."

Kanan's hand literally stops halfway between the table and his mouth as he lifts up his drink. His head pivots to meet the other man's gaze.

Ezra's smile is wry. "It felt wrong not to say it aloud. I'm kind of a little surprised you don't already know. Force Kanan, she looks just like you - well maybe minus the nose shape. Still she's got your eyes, your coloring and most of your expressions, particularly when she's frustrated or mad."

Kanan blinks, opens up his mouth then closes it, opens it again, "But that's not..."

"Possible? Yes it is. She's fifteen next April, Kanan...her mother was from a planet called Stryder apparently - though her and DJ left there shortly after DJ was born. Apparently you and the lady in question shared a meal and a table at a Cantina and then afterward … how shall I put it... you apparently some pleasant company afterwards. There are pictures of the two of you that DJ has in her stuff...and your old brushes had enough DNA left on some of them for me to get official verification six months ago. Way I figure it, she must have been conceived not long before you met Hera on Gorse, and joined her on the Ghost on a permanent basis."

"I..." Kanan's mouth opens then closes again. Because he's honestly completely and utterly dumbfounded. Not because it's impossible - because he knows karking well that it isn't. Still he feels like he's been literally sideswiped... "How in Force did you end up...?"

"Finding her?" Ezra shrugs, "It certainly wasn't deliberate on my part, Kanan. I was having force visions about the kid for almost three months before I finally tracked her down, completely ignorant of your particular connection to her. That I didn't find out until much later. By complete accident for the record. When I originally found her I just meant to find her a place somewhere other than here. To see if I could foster her out with Clan Wren or something like that – I mean I know that Sabine would have been happy to have her. But the truth is that I was hurt pretty badly in the process of recovering her, when I did find her - this was just back before Rex tracked us both down and ended up moving in as well. And it took me awhile to heal up. By the time I was ready to travel again it had been nearly four months, and DJ insisted that she wanted to stay, and since by that point she knew what my life here's actually like and she hadn't complained even once, I guess I just decided she was entitled to make her own decisions."

Kanan nods at that. Pauses, then tilts his head. "She calls you 'Dad,' Ezra?"

Ezra shrugs, "I didn't pick the title Kanan - she did. I haven't really been training her formally in the use of the Force or anything, well outside of teaching her some meditation and what's required for actual survival for shielding and stuff, so having her call me Master just didn't seem right, and she objected to calling me Ezra for some reason, so she decided on 'Dad' instead of 'asshole' or 'stupid head' which had been her favorite until then, so I decided to take it as an upswing.'

He has a daughter. Kanan Jarrus has a daughter. And not just a daughter but a teenager - who is, thank kark, past the worst parts of childhood in Kanan's opinion like tv puppet obsession and potty training. "Does...does she know who I am Ezra?"

"That you're her biological father? Yes, she does, Kanan. Though she's probably really reeling at the moment – if only because her mother told her that you died before she was even born - I don't really know the reasons. So this technically is the second time that you've come back from the dead from her perspective. At least figuratively speaking" Ezra snorts. "Once she knows you know, be warned, you're probably about to be dubbed publically ZombieDad. She's been calling you that for over a week now in private. Her sense of humor when under stress can be a little, uhm, inappropriate."

"Wonder who she got that from..." Kanan snaps back, automatically rolling his own eyes.

Ezra turns then and lifts a very, VERY eloquent eyebrow in his master's direction. "Kanan I suggest in this case you not try and start that particular debate with me."

"Nature vs nurture kid."

"It's both thank you very much...and in terms of the later Kanan you most definitely had more than adequate time to pollute me."

"You wound me Ezra."

"Cry me a river, Master. I've spent almost two years raising YOUR teenager daughter. THERE WERE BAD ROM COMS AND HAIRSTYLING INVOLVED. Previously dead or not, Kanan, you most DEFINITELY OWE ME BIGTIME."

"Not really though." Kanan observes after a moment or two…

Ezra snorts. "No. Of course not, really. I mean yeah the kid is a stubborn hellion, yeah…."

"But you love the kriff out of her."

"Yeah." Ezra shrugs, "I also figure she's also karmic payback basically." The younger man's lips quirk up, "I try and imagine sometimes, how she and Hera would have gotten along if things had worked out differently. Pretty well I think, though I don't know how much they would have had in common honestly speaking… they're certainly equally headstrong that much is for certain, but DJ's basically a former street rat just like I am without any interest in flying at all or my particular knack with technology."

Kanan frowns at this, "So you're saying when you found her she was living on the street?"

Ezra nods, "After a fashion at least. Her mother passed when she was nine year old. Though thank kriff," He says with a little up quirk of his lips, "She had a gang of sorts she ran with up until right before I found her – a little group of 3-4 other pickpockets who didn't do anything but pickpocket who basically stuck together for safety and company, she was the oldest, I think, and they were all squatting together in the same building up until…"

"Until what?"

"Until the inquisitorius caught word of DJ's existance." Ezra responds, looking over at Kanan grimly. "And then set out to catch her by using her little 'family' as the bait in their trap after she avoided them four sperate times. I was only able to save her literally by the skin of my teeth once I found the right planet, Kanan, thanks to my Force visions, but I wasn't able to rescue any of the others in time. DJ and I surviving at all was frankly speaking miraculous who I was up against and the fact I had no backup. Not that she saw it that way at the time. " The twenty five year sighs deeply, egretful. "Which unsurprisingly made our first couple of weeks traveling together less than pleasant, even without a major lightsaber injury to complicate the situation. When I first saved her ass and then got us both off planet, before she learned from Rex how Force Visions really worked, she spent a good month alternating between clinging to me when she realized how close I'd come to actually dying and refusing to speak to me because she blamed me for not saving her 'sibs' as well." Ezra's grin is wry, "Which considering that I wasn't speaking myself at the time, I assume made us our ongoing dynamic pretty comedically tragic to outside onlookers. I have to give Rex credit, Kanan – if I'd been the one hunting someone down and found what he did when he first arrived at this place I'd have pulled a one eighty and run as fast as I possibly could have in the other direction. But he stayed. Because he's stubborn and he's Rex." Ezra snorts, very softly.

Kanan snorts as well, and can't help but think in that moment in time that he's almost unexpressibly grateful for that.


	5. Familial Inheritance (3) Karmic Burdens

Chapter 1: Familial Inheritence Snippet 3 (Karmic Burdens)

Summary:

In which Ezra has an unexpected padawan of his own and righteously whines to Kanan about it...

Chapter Text

. 3?dl=0

SWR Crack AU: Karmic Burdens

Or the one where a 20 something Ezra Bridger ends up finding and forming a training link with Kanan Jarrus's pre-Hera days illegitimate daughter. And (rightly) complains about it to Kanan regularly about it…  
****

"You may never claim I gave you trouble ever again, Kanan!" Ezra tells him, severely, "Do you know what I did today?! I took your kriffing kid out for the afternoon because she'd finished up all her homework early and you know what they say about positive reinforcement and one on one bonding and all that other banthakriff. She claimed she wanted a haircut. Which is fine. Except said haircut turned out to be for me! And then she wanted to get caff, which frankly Kanan NEVER AGAIN after seeing her reaction to it, and then after that she made us both go get our nails professionally done!"

There's a moment of silence before Ezra turns to his very very, silent companion, fiercely scowling. "Kanan, I swear to Force your shampoo will mysteriously morph in to karking Nair if you take more than another two seconds to stop laughing at me!" Ezra flails his arms in clear and abiding despair before continuing. "She likes boy-bands, Master, and she has frankly torturous holovid viewing habits, she kicks everyone's ass she meets at Sabaacc without even trying and doesn't even bother to look slightly abashed about it. She ATTEMPTED TO QUIZ ME ON THE NATURE OF MY SEX LIFE, AND THEN BITCHED AT ME ABOUT IT FOR HALF AN HOUR AFTER, KANAN!"

Kanan, who'd been trying to take a sip of his caff between his chuckles, spews it literally across the room from his mouth. "She what?!"

"'You need to get laid more.' I believe was her particular quote on the subject. I swear to Force, Kanan, I will murder you and scatter the pieces to the four winds if you ever claim I was anything other than the perfect angel of a Padawan, EVER AGAIN!"

"She told you to go out and..."

"Get LAID," Ezra replies, clearly indignant, "Apparently on the assumption that it will make me less angsty or grumpy or something. Not that I'm actually any of the above to begin with."

Kanan eyes the younger man skeptically "Well you do work, a lot. Probably too much speaking frankly. It wouldn't exactly kill you to get out more…maybe take a pretty girl or guy or whatever out and get dinner just to get her off your back about the whole matter."

Ezra stares at him another moment, then flails again, "Kanan I am not fake dating someone to get YOUR kid off my back about my perfectly reasonable current route of abstinence! For kriff sakes I'm twenty five years old and I have teenager and two basically full time jobs! I literally have no time for sleep, much less for sex! Which I'll thank you to tell your uber-spawn just as soon as you see her again!"


	6. Ezra Bridger vs the Jedi Temple 2

Ezra Bridger Vs the World/Jedi Temple (Part Two)

As the first week in Ezra's bargain finally officially opens up, the unresolved sexual tension between Kanan Jarrus and a certain Twi'lek pilot reaches levels that are kriffing ridiculous. (To the degree that the two if them are making other people stare at the floor occasionally and murmur various tension breakers uncomfortably on a semi regular basis.)

And Ezra? Is not at all blind to the fact, and in fact keeps trying to ditch the two of them whenever the three of them are together, so that the two of them can "You know, talk, or …whatever." And it doesn't take Hera and Kanan long to recognize this ongoing patter, so the two of them reluctantly agree to go out to dinner if the kid will just stop. Ezra agrees readily and ends up spending the afternoon and evening with Master Depa Billaba instead, who may or may not reward him by providing the kid with some seriously incriminating creche era photos of one Caleb Dume.

And truthfully, things are going pretty well, until Ezra's parents suddenly die in the process of trying to help other prisoners escape in the middle of a Jedi led Imperial prison raid. Kanan and Hera hear the news first, and are both quietly devastated, but not so much as Ezra, who responds by fleeing the temple entirely to get his head back on straight in private and may or may not end up in a small scuffle with one of the lower level gangs while Hera, Kanan, Sabine and Zeb as well as rest of the council search desperately for him outside the temple walls. Because seriously by this point even Zeb feels kriffing sorry for the Karabast kid.

Though perhaps I choose my language on that subject a little bit poorly, as 'scuffle' usually implies a minor altercation between a couple of children, instead of a full on street brawl between a nineteen year old drug deal and Ezra Bridger over the fates of two tiny fellow street rats who Ezra encounters while they are being harassed because the children refuse to work as drug mules or testers.

And no for the record, Ezra doesn't normally involve himself in this kind of thing. He doesn't do the hero 'schtick.' Except all he can think of right now is the truth – that his parents really are gone now, forever, and Ezra can't help but remember how the two of them were always going on and on about how defending those who can't defend themselves is the only moral option in a world that is growing increasingly dark.

And Ezra he knows this isn't smart. But it does seem like a decent way to maybe honor their memories, because seriously the youngest of those kids is like maybe three or something, and maybe the 'honorable street code' as it's known on his home planet is nonexistent on Coruscant, but Ezra Bridger is and always will be karking Lothalian until his death.

Besides, today he's pissed, and frankly not in the kind of mood to let this kriffing bastard get a free pass unchecked. Besides, there's something about these two kids in particular that – Ezra doesn't know, he just...their particular need just grates on him, calls to him somehow. And so he may get kind of reckless and things may get kind of crazy – especially when the rest of the idiot cohort shows up, while the two tiny midgets just stand there and gawk and stare instead of showing some basic intelligence necessary to run away and seriously tiny minions you still need keepers or some kind of artful Dodger in your Force Damned lives. Do you see that dumpster? Yeah? Good! Now go hide behind it!

And Ezra's sling-shot is awesome yes, but there are just so many of them. And Ezra's sure that all three of them are bodies just waiting to be buried now, until out of nowhere that mostly silent stick-up-his-ass Mace Windu abruptly appears with Master Yoda in tow just as Ezra accidentally Force shoves about half of the gang right into the wall across the alley, and the two council members pretty much send the rest of the altercators flying.

And then Mace Windu is blinking silently for a long moment before turning to the box behind the dumpster where Ezra is wordlessly pointing, before the enormous Master actually proceeds to get down on his karking hands and knees in the dirt to gently woo the frightened children out of their hiding place. While Ezra just stays on his knees on the ceramacrete, bleeding from a couple minor stab wounds and trying to calm his breathing until the moment Master Yoda comes over and lays a very gentle hand on his shoulder, and then something very near tenderly lifts Ezra's chin from his chest.

"Very sorry we are for your loss, Ezra Bridger. Relieved I am, to see that you are safe again. And grateful we are for what you just did for these youngling. However…." Then the ancient Jedi Master's voice turns very wry, "A better weapon though perhaps, you should have perhaps, the next time that you going out seeking my little creche master, yes?"

And then Kanan is there too, hugging Ezra fiercely, and Hera is there as well hugging and yelling and force damn it tearing up, and why do people have to get so over kriffing over emotional in these situations.

Not that Ezra is completely dry eyes himself, which is why he almost misses the way that the younger of the two children, who's currently being cradled in Mace's arms, softly informs the Jedi that his name is Matthew, and his big sister's name is Mira and that they've been on the run for quite awhile now, ever since both their parents were killed by 'cold feeling' people with spinning red lightsabers. Who've been trying to take both his sister and him away even if it meant killing the entirety of their clan.

Those two are ironically, not the only Force Sensetive children that Ezra finds on Coruscant during his stay at the Temple, which Kanan finds distinctly odd, Ezra finds annoying and Master Yoda finds kriffing hilarious.

A few days later and Ezra has firmly developed a reputation in the Temple, for better or worse and some of the knights and masters can't decide whether to be amused or horrified by the reality of this kid. "Tell me again why we want him in charge of our younglings again? He is a tiny blue eyed chaos generating machine!"

"Not tiny Secura!" Ezra yells across the room at the group of people he's most definitely not eavesdropping on. "Just naturally thin and maybe a little height deficient."

"Tell me that when you're not twenty percent below your recommended height and weight standard, Ezra – even with your frame, for your stage of development, Kid." Kanan grumbles under his breath, from where he sits with Ezra next to Yoda.

"More cookies you should have." Yoda extends the tray out to both of them again.

Three days after that, the Jedi temple finds itself mysteriously overrun by an apparent colony of street tooka. Because after all this is Ezra Bridger vs The World, and he figures they have it coming. They kidnapped him, and anything that resulted in the aftermath, they clearly asked for. Be it tookas or several other things that no one else has proof he's actually behind quite yet.

Well one one barring, Depa, Yoda, Anakin (who seriously wants to poach the kid from Hera but had been disallowed by Yoda) and Kanan Jarrus. The three first Jedi think that it's funny as kriff, and Kanan is trying not to think about anything at all if he can possibly help it in favor of lots and lots of meditation.

Because honestly even as well as things have miraculously been going with Hera for the most part, Kanan's still been feeling distinctly unsettled. He figures after a few rounds of mediatation that he's just unusually worried about how the Bridger's loss is affecting Ezra at the moment.

The tookas meanwhile, are having some rather unexpected and overwhelmingly positive effects, outside of a natural reduction of the Temple's population of vermin. The creche leaders in particular have to admit that their presence has produced a rather calming and focusing affect in many of the various clans' most traumatized, and war battered initiates. There is more than one discussion about adding more animal handling skills to the general curriculum instead of just making said coursework elective.

And while Ezra Bridger may in fact prefer to avoid visiting the creche after his earlier essential imprisonment there, he is literal magic in medlab when two of the tiniest problem babies come in, who he encounters when he has a check up on his post street brawl injuries.

"It's just an old song that I remember my mom sometimes singing to me when I was little and sick. Look I'll happily give them a bottle for you if you like, but I'm not changing diapers or anything."

Now it's been three weeks officially since Ezra first arrived at the temple, and two and a half since they struck what they all call the 'grand bargain. ' (Though Anakin Skywalker prefers to refer to it in private at least as Recruitment the reckoning.) Hera and Kanan have had dinner several times now, and even kissed more than once, and maybe tried for a little bit more than that, largely unsuccessfully. Probably because for some completely strange reason, every time they aim for some alone time they inevitably get interrupted by any number of weird or otherwise irritating people or sitatuations, though it's somehow never Ezra, because he's totally got a bet going in the temple pools about them, and he fully intends to win big.

Meanwhile the council is moving from nervous steadily toward outright panicked, because the way that Ezra is currently tearing through their pool of 'perfect master candidates' is frankly just a little bit frightening. The kid is affable sure, when he's not pissed off, but why can no one seem to verbally match him in debate on a regular basis without getting flustered or very frustrated, and why can no one successfully make any sort of emotional in roads with him?

Everyone who tries to get Ezra to talk about either Lothal or the death of his parents almost inevitably ends up talking about their own lives instead. And yes, its frankly kind of touching, how after some of those talks a couple of pair bonds are now considering actual marriage or soul-bonding ceremonies. The way the cranky old bastard in the library just finally took on a Padawan of his own again after nearly three decades of swearing vociferously that he never would again. And yes, as it turns out, the tooka colony is integrating very well into the overall temple culture, and people are growing more and more fond of the fuzzy little demons after they've all received the proper medical treatments.

But it's still been three weeks already, and there's only one left now, and the council knows the fate of his parents, and Ezra, is clearly intrigued by the temple and all its residents less and less and less.

The kid may not be saying it, but they all know that he is terribly homesick. For a kriffing broken down communications tower and a planet that's got literally nothing to offer him but frequent starvation and endless miles of slow blowing grass.

And try as hard as they all may, if there is a way to get into this kids head, nobody can find it, except for maybe Master Yoda himself, Anakin Skywalker – who's been forbidden to take on a Padawan until his own kids are grown no matter how well Ezra happens to get along with the twins

And so the clock ticks down in the back of all of their heads, especially in that of Kanan Jarrus, who is watching the days trickle by and feeling a steadily mounting hurricane of panic in his chest. Because the Jedi knight knows damn well, that whether Ezra will admit it openly or not, the teenager already has route schedules and ticket prices for passage back to Lothal stashed under his mattress.

And Kanan had known, he'd tried to warn them this would happen.

Because Kanan understand, almost as well as he knows his own mind right now, that Ezra isn't looking at the Jedi Temple and seeing home. He's seeing a place that was interesting to visit. But the real problem is that the kid also isn't asking Hera the right kind of questions about the Rebellion either. The kind that would show even the most base level of interest necessary to get Ezra Bridger off of kriffing Lothal and onto her ship.

The kid hates the Empire yes, but his grief over his parents' loss right now seems all but all-consuming. He's frankly doing nothing but idling while he hides from the reality of his present situation. And as Hera speculated more than once, when Ezra's parents' death really hits him, the emotional break is probably going to be, well, bad…

Kanan doesn't doubt her, because he knows all too well by now that the resulting crash will probably be epic.

What Kanan's afraid of right now is where and when said crash will happen.


	7. Ezra Bridger Doesn't Require A Dowry

Watch Out For The Flood: A SWR AU SNIPPET

(AKA: Ezra Bridger Doesn't Require a Dowry)

Things I have to wonder about sometimes, does Ezra Bridger indeed have a small pack of largely unnoted romantic admirers within the larger rebellion that have thus far been deliberately holding their silence regarding their interest. Because:

He is still technically a minor child no matter how many times he has helped saved all their lives and

Even if he wasn't, his entire foster family is frankly both deadly and terrifying.

Because yes both those deterrents might work initially, as a source of mortal terror but Ezra Bridger's charm also speaks for itself, and sooner or later everyone falls under his spell and breaks eventually. I mean the kid grew up good, if maybe a little bit skinny.

And once there's a running for his interest, well, I imagine that there'll be a full on running.

And I frankly speaking, am more than a little amused to imagine the result of that proverbial dam break. Just imagine a welling flood of potential Ezra Bridger suitors crawling out of the woodwork sometime after Empire day. Everyone smiling and talking about literally nothing, and bringing courting gifts of various types while Ezra and Kanan both just stand there blinking and going 'What in Kriff?!'

Zeb and Sabine on the other hand, can't decide whether the situation is depressing or hysterical funny. Chopper is seriously pissy and Hera at least begins by pretending she's completely unaware of it.

And no for the record, no one actually offered Kanan a dowry price for Ezra involving an entire flock of Alderaanian sheep. Which doesn't mean he wasn't offered anything at all. Kanan was offered six puffer pigs. Zeb was actually impressed by this offer. Chopper demanded payment in advance. Sabine on the other hand had to lay down after nearly asphyxiating from repeated laugh-crying.

Later that same week, in the following of the old rule "Once the flood gates open here comes the hurricane," Hera breaks and starts playing loop tracks of all kinds of old courting songs and love poetry from Ryloth, with an obviously fakely innocent expression.

Zeb gets long winded on wedding traditions from his own homeworld involving traditional bride abduction and Sabine proves to all of them via a marathon that Mandalorian Romantic Comedy Films are both hilarious and strangely terrifying.

Ezra informs Kanan after all of this during training that he's running away to live with Rex indefinitely.

Kanan is less than impressed. He informs nobody at all that Ezra is actually allowed to group date starting at age thirty.

Week after that Rex starts getting approached by random rebellion fighters who want to brush up on their fighting skills, because the rumor mill now states that anyone who gets passed the meet and greet with Kanan and Hera now has to go hand to hand with every Specter but Ezra in order to advance to the next round. And seriously, have you seen Captain Syndulla during her times in the gym?

And yes, Kanan's the one who actually started this rumor, and yes, Rex knows that it isn't true, but neither man will admit as much to anyone at present. Rex sees it as a way to improve Rebellion Wide Combat Readiness. And Kanan sees it as a more than fit punishment for 'you almost poached my traitorous hiding padawan' Rex.

Several days after that the Lotholian Embassy notes that it has gotten several inquiries as to the standard Bride Price for Central City Residents. It responds in a memo that it is unable to provide any further useful information without further details on each member of the pairing's family background and social status. Similar fruitless searches are also made on the Rebellion Base on Yavin with keywords, 'typical Jedi Dowries' and 'formalized Jedi courting practices.'

Base wide movie night the next time it occurs is unsurprisingly the classic 'Guess who's coming to dinner.' It's an instant hit, much to Ezra's disgust, and Rebel Command schedules extra training maneuvers as the lower enlisted clearly have way too much time on their hands.

Lastly, somewhere in a desert on Tatooine, a Force-Ghost Maul sulks at Obi-Wan who patiently feeds the fire. "But why isn't anyone asking meeee for my permission. I mean I clearly shoplifted the kid in earlier seasons!"

Obi Wan looks back at Maul for a very long moment, considers his karma, and then looks away again, despairing.


	8. You Break Him, You Buy It

You Break Him, You Buy It: A Ghost Crew related memo for the work related 'lend' of one _**Ezra Bridger**_ to other Rebellion Comrades on short term work assignments.)

A small informative pamphlet as composed by one Jedi Knight Kanan Jarrus.

1\. No, you may not keep him. This is completely non-negociable. Attempted poachers will only live (hopefully!) to regret it.

2\. Ezra's ability to judge another living being's suitability as either an ally or a neutral third party is inversely proportional to said living being's relative level of sentience. He is inclined to hope for the best is situations and people both. This is not always to his personal or his comrade's long-term benefit. Do not discounts things like screamingly obvious portents of doom, past group affiliation or hard won cynically leaned personal instincts. They are your friends and remain every bit as reliable as any vaunted 'Jedi Instincts.'

3\. There are very few creatures out there that Ezra cannot woo over to his side given a little time and almost none he is resistant to riding if the animal is of the right side and the situation calls for it. Keep this in mind when following him off of literal cliffs.

4\. Be aware when launching rescue attempts, escape attempts and recognizance missions that Ezra is adaptable, inventive and most of the time almost invariably self-starting. Be loosely attached to any tactical strategies you may be enacting.

Gold Leader's face is more than a little pale as he looks up from the piece of paper at Rex. "Are they serious here, sir? Or is this some kind of prank? ..Following him off literal cliffs?"

"Jedi Padawan," Rex responds, as if that somehow explains it. The pilot leader continues to read.

5\. This may sound ridiculous, given his fighting competency, but in the heat of the moment when Ezra is entirely focused on his mission he tends to forget little 'extras' like regular eating and sleeping, and may require wrangling or other similar encouragement. This trait is also inversely proportional to his personal attachment to said mission.

6\. He can become violent if shaken awake from one of his nightmares, so always awaken him from a distance.

"A good rule for every soldier," Rex mutters under his breath.

"Sir this kid's what? Nineteen? Twenty? You don't think it's a little, I don't know…excessive?"

"He's seventeen, and the people you're borrowing him from are the closest thing he has to family. Be grateful they're not demanding interviews and professional background checks. You are about to borrow one of the two known individuals still left alive in what amounts to a cultural subspecies. And the fact that you're being allowed the option at all? Shows that Kanan's growth as both a person and a master at this stage in his life is significant."

Only four more left, and at this point, Gold Leader's a little afraid to keep reading.

7\. When Ezra says he's got it, he does in fact usually have it unless otherwise injured or exhausted. Please see Commander Sato's mission debrief's for further details on this matter.

8\. "Yes, he does that." As rightly applies to my Padawan in many unbelievable situations is normal for Ezra. You are unlikely to change him overly much so save yourself time and headache and adjust your concept of reality, it requires much less effort in the long view of things.

9\. When it fast moving combat situations Ezra may not recognize undercover friendlies before he fires or deflects with his lightsaber. Please keep this in mind when approaching.

10\. If any or all of the above turn out to be deal breakers for his solo acquisition, then I refer you to the attached second form. 'Request for the Specter Crew's assistance in its entirety.' It is your safest bet in ninety-nine percent of situations honestly. Let the experts in these matters handle the situation. It will mean less chaos, and far fewer losses in terms of health or overall sanity.

Gold Leader swallows hard, "I think I'd like that second form, Sir."

Rex sniffs, unimpressed. "It's already on the printer."


	9. Double Blind

Probably hands down the funniest thing I could ever imagine - involves a story that occurs say a decade or so before _The Force Awakens_ opens up _,_ after the fall of Luke Skywalker's Jedi Academy. It would be a story involving an Ezra Bridger who apparently 'walked away from the path of the Jedi' - at least as far as people know, when he was still in his mid or late twenties. Who's now a bit of a rogue as far as most people are aware, who keeps to himself and doesn't play hero. And frankly they all do a lot of sad facing and tongue clicking over the disappointment that is clearly him among the Rebellion's older members. Because seriously the kid could have been so much more.

Only then suddenly Kanan, Sabine and the others: who haven't seen Ezra much for years now in the wake a huge fight that occurred about half a decade ago over some of Ezra's more questionable life choices, end up finding out that when he's not smuggling or playing NonJedi Pirate with Hondo, Ezra's tracking down and silently collecting a small pile of mostly force-sensitive children: though for the record he doesn't separate orphaned sib groups whether they are force sensitive or not, so there are some non-force-sensitives among the 'Bridgers horrde' too as they are jointly referred to.

And said kids, in the aftermath of the fall of Skywalker's academy, are all now living very very discretely somewhere in this little foster family and Ezra never mentioned this to the rebellion because as one of the older kids put it, 'Duh - issues of security. 'Do we look like we want the Knights of Wren here for breakfast? For one thing they'd probably want to eat all our bacon.'

Besides, the Bridgers all at least get to pretend to be kids first for a while before joining the rebellion once they hit their if they choose to do. To get some semi-regular schooling, learn the basics of meditation, play ball…that sort of thing. It's the rule that's been instituted by the staff leader Syl, a woman who Ezra and found to watch the children when he can't - who also essentially bosses him around like he's ten years old himself though he's now much closer to forty. (The woman is like the grandmother from hell - literally terrifying when she's not offering you cookies and cocoa) Nonetheless she clearly loves 'this self-identified little group of banthashits.'

And Kanan, Hera, Zeb and Sabine who have all quietly despaired over Ezra's fall from grace off and on for at least a coupe years now are all like, "…And you never thought to MENTION any of this secret life of yours to any of us?"

And Ezra just shrugs his shoulders and is like, "You guys have been pissy, remember? We haven't exactly been meeting much in the last decade for coffee. You were all, for various reasons, doing your own thing and so was I. Besides this place was never deliberate it just.. sort of happened."

"You started what amounts to a force sensitive school without even dropping a hint about any of it, Kid…"

"One - I'm almost forty, Kanan. Kid's a little bit outdated. Two it's hardly a school, …DO NOT compare this place to Skywalker's academy. I'm not a teacher I'm a cat-herder essentially. I don't tell anyone what to think or do, just provide a variety of options. Well others than the fact that I do generally discourage stuff like psychopathy or sociopathy. Since *awkward* frankly speaking. There are however sometimes classes on pickpocketing and semi ethical pirating. Well when Hondo happens to find the time to visit anyway. He no longer tries to recruit the kids until after their age of majority since the last time Syl caught him trying she took out that kitchen knife and threatened to render and cook him for dinner."

And Kanan is just like "…"

And Hera and Sabine are like "He is literally a deliberately closeted version of kriffing Robin Hood. He's been making himself look like an asshole on PURPOSE, probably in part to drive people away in order to guarantee his and the kids' security." And they literally can't decide whether to cry or to possibly KILL HIM…

And Kanan is finally like "I don't care if you are technically almost 40. We are damn well finishing your training your kriffing manipulative little banthashit"

And Ezra just shrugs, adjusts a kids' wobbly blaster holding stance, corrects another kid's huttese swearing pronunciation ("Cause after all, you sound like a tourist, buddy. If you're really going that route, at least try and pass as a native, hmm?") before handing over a data disk to Hera that is meant to go back to Rebellion data services, telling her to offer his apologies that it's been late so so often lately. He's been a little busy the last six months, and of course naturally the next time he makes it back to the city supper is of course on him.

And there's silence, again, for a long moment, until the whole group of them break into still more swearing. And Hera asks Syl rather seriously if she can borrow her favorite meat kleever without reprisal for just a couple of minutes.

But then to be fair its not every day you become a Grandparent unexpectedly to eleven.


End file.
